Why I Write
I’m a dad of 3. I read the parenting books. I know what the experts say I should do. And then my kid starts screaming in the grocery store and everything I’ve read disappears.
I’m also a husband. And if parenting is hard, running a household alongside someone is harder. I know what the mental load looks like. I know the list of things I’m supposed to notice before being asked. And I know how often I still miss them.
This newsletter is where I write about both gaps. The one between the parent I want to be and the parent I actually am in the heat of the moment. And the one between the partner I want to be and the partner I’m actually being when I check out, when I assume she’s got it, when I treat running this house like a team sport I can step out of whenever I’m tired.
These are personal essays. Stories from the floor, the car, the sofa, and the quiet five minutes after the storm passes. Stories about the stuff I was supposed to notice and didn’t. The chore I knew about and didn’t do. The conversation that needed to happen and I was too comfortable to start.
If you’ve ever stayed on the sofa when you knew you should get up, stayed quiet when you knew you should speak, or raised your voice when you knew you should lower it — this is for you.
